Free at Last

Today is quite a momentous day for me as a mother.  I am certain that my oldest is quite excited about this day as well, but maybe not in the same way that I am.  Today I am going for the official dismissal from the Special Education program, which she never needed in the first place, for my beautiful daughter.  Two weeks from tomorrow she will graduate from high school.  Does it matter that her dismissal comes just before she graduates?  Does it matter that she was in the program for years and received services and was called names because of it and yet she will receive official dismissal when it really won't matter at this point?  Yes.  Yes it does.  It matters to me and it matters to her.  I made sure this official dismissal took place.  I have some things to say today to whom it may concern.  I could have just let this go and let her graduate and forget about this with a new start in college.  I like new starts, God gives us a new day, a new moment.  I am seizing this moment and clearing my daughter's name and records from the bondage of misdiagnosis and mistreatment.  So yes, it matters.  She will get a new start in college in August but by george she will get a new start today with 6 days of school left for her.

If you need background on what I am talking about today, please go to blog archives and read "Witnessing a Modern Day Miracle".

Every year I have had to go to an IEP meeting.  I loathe IEP meetings because they eternally are talking about "disabilities" and "abnormalities" and those who conduct these meetings seem to forget they are talking about my beautiful daughter that is perfect in my eyes and is smart, and funny, and precious and kind, and compassionate, and most importantly is a child of the King.  I have spent many years wanting to bang my fist on the table and yell, "Did you notice how she was a friend to someone less fortunate?  Did you notice how she is always about something that is good and wholesome and right?  Did you notice how hard she works to get what she does?  Did you forget that I squeezed her out of my bottom and I can show you all kinds of crazy if you don't say something good about my girl?  Is what she can show you on a piece of paper ALL that matters to you?  Have you looked at her heart?"  Each year I warn my best friend that I am about to go to my meeting.  She mobilizes and knows that I am going to call her madder than a wet hen because of how they talk in the meeting.  Well not today.  I have a few things to say.  Heaven help them while I speak my peace.  I will bring up how in second grade they wanted to have her repeat that grade.  I will bring up how in 6th grade they wanted to have her repeat that grade.  I would not let them.  I wouldn't because I was listening to God and what He thought was best and not what the educational system thought was best.  I firmly believe that had I given in to what "they" thought was best for my girl that I would have a different story to tell today.  I believe that she quite possibly could have given up and dropped out of school.  If I had let them repeat her twice then she would be 18 years old and a sophomore.  Did "they" think what that would do to a girl's self esteem?  I couldn't blame her for wanting to give up and I am not a quitter.  Are they really "disabilities" or do we just all have different abilities and the system tries to put us all into a mold when we don't all fit into that mold?  If God wanted us to fit a mold then wouldn't He have made us all exactly alike and look exactly the same?

I will bring up the fact that if I had laid down as a mother and not advocated for my child and not told them what I would allow them to do with her then she would not be graduating this year, would not have received the Hope Scholarship for academic excellence, would not be wearing an honors banner on her graduation gown for exceptional grades in high school, would not have been accepted to college where she will begin attending in the fall, would not have made straight A's for 3 of 4 grading periods?  Because I bucked the system she IS.  She IS graduating, made straight A's on the world's scale, got the Hope Scholarship, will wear an honors banner, and IS going to college.  She never needed special education in the first place, she simply could not hear.  Well now she CAN.

Now by no stretch of the imagination am I suggesting that the educational system stinks, or that this is all the school's fault.  I don't believe that for one moment.  I believe this is not our story, this is God's story and what He writes is perfect.  My daughter would not be the hard working princess she is today if not for the hardships she has endured through the years.  I would not change a thing that has occurred in these past 18 years.  It has made us all what we are today.  We were being molded into who we are today.  What I am saying is be an advocate for your children.  Don't just take what doctor's or educators say about your child.  Take what God says about them.  Do what is best for them.  Go with your gut.  My gut said different than the system all these years and now, just a few short weeks ago we all learned that my gut was right.  And look at the results that have come from it.

We are having a graduation party for my girl in two weeks.  I could certainly be wrong but I feel like my girl graduating is a bigger deal than maybe some other kids. Probably even a bigger deal than my other two kids when they graduate.  There is a huge story behind her graduating, not just a career of lollipops and rainbows.  It is a graduation of perseverance, of not backing down, of not giving up.  Each person invited to the party has had a significant role in getting my girl where she is today.  I wish I had time to tell each person the role they played.  They may not even know the role they played.  Rest assured, if you received an invitation, you played a huge role.  This isn't about graduation gifts.  This is about the greater good of a child.  Of seeing past the outside and seeing straight to the heart. 

Today I am going to that meeting.  I am going to witness them writing dismissal papers from the Special Education program that she did not need in the first place.  She just needed hearing aids.  She needs official dismissal so she can kick the dust of this town off her feet and fly.  Do I wonder what she may have been able to accomplish if she had not been misdiagnosed?  Sometimes, in my darkest hour.  But I push that thinking down and let the cream rise to the top.  This is God's story, not mine.  I am just proud I have it to tell.  It is not a story I would have chosen to have to tell, but it is all mine and I am proud of it because God chose me to be a character in it.  My faith has made me whole.

Thank you so much for reading my blog.  I am so grateful for the opportunities this has brought to me and gives me a medium to share my thoughts.  I hope my story helps just one person.

You are NOT alone.  I felt alone for many years and kept all of this to myself.  Alone is not a good place to be.  May God bless each and every one of you and May God bless those people who are in the meeting today.  I have a word or two to speak ;)