I Just Want to Drive a Bus

I spent a lot of my younger adult life teaching Bible class and not enjoying it, borderline despising it which is somewhat surprising since I am a teacher by profession. After years of guilt for not enjoying the experience I realized that there was more to do in the church for the womenfolk than just teaching Bible class. So I decided I wanted to drive the bus. I didn't know at the time the magnitude of what God had in mind for me in my "transportation ministry" but it sure has been exciting so far. Today I would like to tell the story of how my commercial drivers license actually came into being. 

The idea of driving the church bus seemed simple enough in theory and I was super excited to get started with achieving my goal. I went to the DMV to get my handy dandy booklet to study for the written test. Upon picking up the "booklet" I was aghast at the practically college textbook size of the manual. Oh well, a little study never hurt anyone. Took the manual home and got to work. My goal was to go take the test in two weeks. 

I cracked open the manual to pages and pages of diagrams of engines, semi trucks, hazardous chemical labels to memorize, and various other "junk" they expected me to know to drive the church bus. Did they realize I just want to drive the church bus?  In all reality I had never really checked under the hood of anything. Doesn't Jiffy Lube do that?  I guess I will learn if I want to drive the church bus...

I studied HARD for that two weeks. I had to read over and over the same stuff to open my head and pour in the knowledge. My head hurt the whole second week. Literally. Good thing I have enough determination to share with the free world or I would have thrown in the towel when I saw the manual. 

Went to the DMV to take the test. It was on the computer and multiple choice. I am convinced it is a conspiracy with the wording of the questions. I failed the test. 

Back to the drawing board. They won't let you take the test again for 2 weeks. So, in two weeks I was back to sit in line and take it again after another two weeks of learning about coupling devices and axels. Failed a second time. 

The third time I went to take the test I was just about mad. Don't these people realize that I am not going to drive a tractor trailer truck for BP hauling hazardous chemicals??  I JUST want to drive the church bus. Unfortunately you have to be able to know how to haul hazardous chemicals in order to drive a church bus...  Well, in the middle of my test, my phone rang and I saw on caller ID that it was the room mother for my youngest daughters class so I answered it. She needed me to bring cupcakes for the Halloween party. I got a tap on the shoulder and a not so nice voice said, "you are dismissed from the testing area for answering your phone.  That is cheating."  What?!  Do I even KNOW anyone who could answer your crazy computer questions??  I was in tears explaining the call was about cupcakes. Long story short, I couldn't come back for a month because I was cheating. 

You can't keep a good girl down so in a month I was back!  And I passed!!  Now I could move on to learning to drive!

I solicited the help of a gentleman at church who had experience with the bus. He showed me how to parallel park and how to dock park and alley load. Not that I would be doing any of that but I had to know for the driving test. Then I got out on the road and practiced a lot. When I went for the driving test I had to also do a pre-trip inspection of the bus including getting under the bus and checking certain points to make sure the bus is safe for driving. 

I had to have another CDL driver with me to take me to the testing site to take my drivers test. The same gentleman took me. The man who did my test was about what you would expect, rough and brash. He asked me to point out what I need to check before I drive. There were 75 points I had to verbally state with no help from a paper or checklist. I got all 75 without missing a beat.

Then the man asked me what I was going to do when I break down with a bus load of people. I said, "sir, I just want to drive the church bus so I am going to call the church and say, I've got a bus load of blue hairs and we are broke down on the side of the road so send someone to get us."  Then I politely preceded with what he wanted me to tell him which was how to fire a flare and where to place my triangle hazards. 

Then we got into the bus and went on with the actual driving part including the parallel parking and alley dock. I did all of that without a single mistake. The man was very complimentary of my skills. I resisted the urge to tell him all I had been through to get to this point. I kindly went inside and smiled for my picture and got my commercial drivers license.

I can finally drive the bus!!  Now if you want to ride my bus with a car battery in tow, I'm not letting you on because it is dangerous. I know this because I studied. And since I know there will be many who try to get on my bus with a car battery in their arms I am prepared to not let them on. I also know that I need to put a strap every 10 feet on my trailer if I am hauling uncovered items with my semi. These are other things that will be useful to me I just know it. I can also dismantle and assemble coupling devices to attach my trailer to my semi since I use that all the time too. 

The lesson in all of this is to be determined. Dream big and go for it!  Never be too old to learn something new. 

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Jennifer