Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Life is Fragile

My life changed on Friday morning.  My puppy got hit by a car.  She died instantly.  Worst day of my life.  Zoe was not just any dog.  She was special.  We got her when she was 7 weeks old.  She was about the size of a grapefruit when we brought her home.  She gave the best hugs.  I never knew that an animal could give hugs.  Zoe did.  When I would hug one of my kids or my husband, Zoe would bark until we picked her up and let her have a big group hug.

She had me from her first little kiss.  I never wanted a dog.  My oldest wanted a puppy.  She found the breeder, she picked her out, she bought her.  I remember saying on the way to get her that this was a mistake.  Well it wasn't.
My Four Children


Zoe had a hefty job to do here on this earth.  She was actually a bargaining chip with our oldest daughter.  She was in a toxic relationship where she was physically and mentally abused.  He was so controlling that she could not have friends outside of him.  She kept begging for a puppy and we finally agreed if she would stay away from the boyfriend, we would let her get the dog.  She held up to her end of the bargain and so did we even though I felt like she would go back to him as soon as we got the dog.  Our little Zoe was sent by God to save my daughter from the devil himself. 
Yes, she drank out of a baby bottle.  She was the baby :)

 Little 7 pound Zoe did her job well.  At first I saw her as a pawn, until she kissed me that very first time and fell head over heels for her.  She was special.  She saved my girl and grabbed my heart and wouldn't let go.  I had never loved another animal before her.  I thought I loved another animal, but after we got Zoe I realized that I had loved other animals for what they meant to the other family members, not what they meant to me.  Until Zoe, a dog meant shed hair all over the place and nails that had to be trimmed and a being that had to be let out.  

When Zoe came on the scene, suddenly it was adorable to have little turds on the carpet.  I can't explain this, but it was true.  She preferred carpet.  I can't say I could blame her.  She was precious.
Then the fashion came into play.  With each passing day, Zoe became more my dog and less my daughter's dog.  She went everywhere with me.  She sat with me, she slept with me, she was my love.  Her purpose to save my daughter from the devil was still successful and I fell more in love with her each minute.  Where I was, Zoe was.  She would let me groom her, dress her, comb her hair, wash her face everyday.  She knew I was making her beautiful.  

She had dresses of every kind.  She had winter coats, summer scarves, bows of every color, and a teeny weeny polka dotted bikini that she loved to swim in.  She was always the next one up on the doggie fashion runway sporting the latest in doggie wear.  She loved to be dressed up.  When I would give her a bath and take her bow out, she would always look mortified that her dignity had been taken away.  She even slept in her bows.  When I thought she was laying close to me she would get a little closer.  She would sleep with her head on my pillow and her chin on my arm.  Every.single.night.







Rest in Peace, Sweet Sweet Puppy!  One year old and had a HUGE job to do in this world.  She accomplished her goal and has now gone on to the Rainbow Bridge.  When she left, she took a piece of my heart.  I miss her every day.  Thank you, sweet puppy for capturing my heart and being sent by God to save my girl from the devil himself.  You did a great job!  

I felt bad for being so upset about the loss of our sweet puppy.  I think about all the folks I know that have lost their spouse, have lost their child, their parents.  Every tear I cried over Zoe I thought of the two tears that others cried over human loss.  May the record show that I have learned a deeper empathy for those who have suffered loss because I know in some small way how horrible and heartbreaking it is to suffer loss.  To grieve.  This is the lesson to learn from the loss of Zoe.  Lesson learned, Lord :)  Thank you for giving us Zoe to learn from.

Thank you for reading my blog!  Please subscribe in the box to the right so you can receive updates when I have a new blog post!  Have a fabulous day!

Jennifer



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