The Key to Happiness

Happiness is a decision.  Pain is inevitable but misery is optional.  We all will experience pain in our lives but misery is optional.  The apostle Paul said that we should count it all joy when we fall into various trials.  How in the world do we do that?  Well, joy is something that we have deep within us.  But happiness is a decision. We can be joyful even in hard times knowing that we will be learning something from this experience, growing from the pain, or even need to know a particular form of pain so that we can be a support for others later on.  We never know why we may be suffering, but misery is optional. 

Sometimes I think we leave the key to our happiness in someone else's pocket.  Our happiness is not dependent upon someone else.  If we love ourselves, we are joyful within and do not need an outside source to generate happiness.  We should never let anyone have enough control over our emotions, our feelings, our schedules, or our lives that they make us feel less than fabulous.  When we let someone else or something else have that much control over us, we have left the key to our happiness in someone else's pocket.  Other people or things should be an enhancement to our lives.  We should never hinge our decisions or opportunities upon other's opinions, what others will think, or what others are doing.

Take a job for example.  As valuable as I may be to my company, I would be replaced quickly if I left.  So take the vacation.  Use up the personal time off.  Don't be storing those off days up.  Use them.  If you turn down opportunities to take time off because of something going on at work, you have left the key to your happiness in your work desk.  Don't leave that key laying around because anyone or anything is willing to pick up that key to YOUR happiness and keep it.  Then what are you left with?  Anger, worn down feelings, exhaustion, unhappiness, aggravation, tempers, etc.

Take people's opinions for example.  Everyone has an opinion.  They are like noses, everyone has one.  If you let other people's opinions influence your decisions, then you have left the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket.  Take that key back.  Don't leave it laying around because there is always someone or something that is waiting in the wings to take that key from you. 

Put the key to happiness on the key ring of your heart and keep it there safely so that no one or nothing can take it away and put it in their pocket.  When you do this, you take back your control.  You feel in charge of your life again.  You feel empowered.  You feel joyful.  People and things in this life are enhancements.  They are not here to make you happy.  If they were, we would all be miserable all the time because people are human and we live in a fallen world.  And things, well, they are inanimate objects that were never intended to make people happy.  They are fleeting moments of fun, but not true happiness.  Take your key back.  Put it on the key ring of your heart and take your control back.

Thanks for reading my blog.  Please share it!
Jennifer

Be Flawsome

I was at a festival yesterday minding my own business and shopping with my daughter.  From out of nowhere, i heard a strange voice say “I need you to model my clothes for me.  I can tell you are just the person I need.”  When I realized she was talking to me, I was dumbfounded.  I told her I would be happy to model her clothes for her.  She said, “I can’t find a single person anywhere who has the confidence to let me take their picture for my website.”  I was more than willing to help the lady out but the whole experience has left me still scratching my head today.  Are we really at a point in our lives that we feel so meek about ourselves that this poor woman could not find a single person to model her clothes that was willing to have their picture made?  I think it is deplorable to see the breakdown of self worth.  Now I have enough self esteem to share with the free world, and I know that is a bit unusual.  It bothers me that more people don’t hold themselves in high esteem.  It’s no wonder that families are failing and marriages are failing because you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself.  

 

We all have flaws.  My belly is my problem area.  Others have problems with their legs, or hips or ears or whatever.  Truth is, we are all made in God’s image and there is no ugly involved in God’s image.  So we are all beautiful.  A good personality trumps physical beauty any day of the week.  If you don’t have a good personality then it’s just “congratulations on your face”.  It’s what is on the inside that matters.  I have a friend who is super petite and little and cute.  One time, she was going to a formal event and was having the worst trouble finding a dress to wear.  She said that the formal department did not have anything that was little enough for her and the children’s department did not have anything old enough looking for her.  It was then that I embraced my belly and realized that EVERYONE has trouble finding clothes to look good no matter your size or shape.  Everyone struggles.  So stop looking at other people and thinking how much better looking they are than you are.  Just stop.  Mommas, don’t be saying negative things about yourself in front of your children.  They are watching and we need to raise a new generation of good, positive self imaged youngsters.

I went a few weeks ago for my federal department of transportation physical and the doctor told me that I was morbidly obese. WHAT?!  I told him it was a good thing I had good self esteem because some women would starve themselves over a statement like that.  I also told him a few other things to put him in his place. And then I sat on him. 😂🤣  I also said to the receptionist when I exited(loud enough for the doctor to hear me) “Get a good look at me because you are looking at the face of the morbidly obese.”  I feel like I got my point across to everyone in that doctors office.   It’s a wonder he didn’t write that I wasn’t able to renew my commercial drivers license because I am so heavy I would pop a bus tire. 😂🤣🤪

 

I have clothes in my closet right now that are sized from 12-18 and ALL of them fit.  If the number on the tag of your clothes bothers you, then cut the tag out.  You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.  Buy clothes that fit.  Some of these clothes are made in China and they are made to fit small people who can wad themselves up and sleep in drawers like it was a bed.  These numbers are unrealistic.  Try on clothes and buy ones that fit no matter what the tag says.  When we have clothes on that fit, our confidence level goes up.  If we are refusing to buy a bigger size clothes then we are just making ourselves miserable.  Embrace your body for what it is and move forward.  Put on the swimsuit.  Buy a bigger size.  Eat the pie. None of us are getting out of here alive so enjoy life and accept yourself for the shape that you are.   Everything in moderation.  As we age, it becomes harder and harder to lose weight.  Don’t define yourself by your ability to keep a pristine figure.  Fluffy people give better hugs.  Exercise, eat in moderation, buy clothes that fit, and PLEASE decide each morning that your will love yourself.  We all are a hot mess.  Some just hide it better than others.  We are all flawed.  Get out there and flaunt your awesome every single day.  Be FLAWSOME!!

 

Jennifer

The Secret to Life

Once I started working full time, my blogging time reduced dramatically. I guess instead of blogging, I share my thoughts on life to my little elderly people at the assisted living where I am the activity director. Tonight, I lay awake with a boatload of things floating around in my head so the best thing to do with those things is to write them down. I’m about to reveal to you the secret to life. This was life changing for me. Did you know that we don’t have to have everything figured out?  When situations present themselves to us and we don’t know which way to turn or what to do with the situation, we don’t have to have a plan?  Did you know that?  I didn’t. But when I figured it out years ago, my life changed. Dramatically. 

You see, when we become overwhelmed with life and with children and jobs and family and friends and stuff and holidays problems relationships and cleaning the house and...the list goes on and becomes staggering if you think about all of it all at once and try to figure it all out.  We don’t have to figure it out. All we have to do is the next right thing. Whatever that is. 

Some days the next right thing may be to stop at Sonic and get a half price drink. Some days doing the next right thing may be going to get your teeth cleaned. Some days it could be to simply take a nap. Sometimes the next right thing could be making a phone call to someone who has hurt you. Sometimes the next right thing is a major step and sometimes it is some small thing like giving someone a hug. 

I’ve always been taught not to pick up hitchhikers. I have never picked up a stranger off the street because I was taught not to. Every day when I leave for work there are two guys I see come out of the house just outside my subdivision. They walk to work which happens to be the Mexican restaurant close to my house. Every time I see these guys I wanted to pick them up and take them to work. It’s not that far out of the way. I struggled with this desire for over a year now. The voice inside my head kept telling me no, you don’t pick up strangers.  A few months ago it was 19 degrees outside and I left for work and saw the guys walking down the street. I stopped because it was the next right thing. I couldn’t watch them walk in this weather. So I did the next right thing which was to stop and roll my window down. I spoke to them and realized they didn’t speak English. Best I could, I communicated that I would take them to their work. They got in and smiled so big I can’t even describe it. We tried to talk but I didn’t speak Spanish and they didn’t speak English. But when I dropped them off at their work, their gratitude transcended any language barriers. Kindness know no language and the next right thing is all I had to do. Now I pick them up every day and we enjoy our ride to work together. You see, I didn’t have to replay every terrible scenario that could happen from picking up strangers. All I had to do was the next right thing. And that day, it was stop and roll my window down. Rolling my window down led to one of the highlights of my day every day. 

That is just one of the examples I can give of being blessed by doing the next right thing. Don’t try to figure it all out, just do what’s next. One step. One thing. One decision. One gut feeling. That’s all. With this secret to life, I have gained a sense of peace and joy in my life. I hope this helps you too. 

Just do the next right thing. Whatever that is. It may be turning out the light and going back to sleep. Just the next right thing. Martin Luther King said that Faith is taking the first step without seeing the whole staircase. Jennifer says do the next right thing. Same concept, different perspective. 

Thanks for reading my blog. Give me feedback. I love comments. 

Get out there and make today the best ever. 

Jennifer

Goals vs. Resolutions

Happy New Year, Readers!

I have written blog posts on my philosophies on New Year's Resolutions.  If you missed that, the summary is that I don't make new Year's resolutions because if there is something I want to change about myself, God gives me a new day, new hour, new minute, or new second to change something about myself.

This past week, I led a discussion with a group of elderly people.  We discussed New Year's Resolutions and what the most common ones are.  Of course, number one was losing weight.  The funny thing about that resolution is that it isn't a resolution at all.  It is a goal.  During our discussion, we began to wonder what the difference in resolutions and goals.  So I looked it up.  Resolutions are permanent changes to your life that you will keep doing every day and not just until a specific achievement is reached.  Goals involve specific achievements.  Goals can be tracked and accomplished.  Goals are real, actionable, trackable plans.  Resolutions are hopes.  Goals are plans.

Losing weight, going to the gym three times per week, reading the Bible through in a year, running a marathon, etc, are all goals.  They are finite.  They are achievements that are trackable and with a reward with the accomplishment.

Being mindful, being present, caring enough about yourself to limit sweets, cultivating joy in everyday life-these are resolutions.  You may want to lose 10 pounds but it isn't about fitting into skinny jeans.  Fitting into skinny jeans is a goal.  A resolution is to eat healthier because you love yourself.    Being more patient, kind, gentle, good, loving, joyous, being at peace, more faithful, trusting, and acting with self control are all resolutions.  They do not have a measure of achievement like goals do.  Fitting into your skinny jeans is not a sign of inner peace.

There is nothing wrong with goals OR resolutions and I think that both have their place in each of our lives.  It was just interesting to me that the majority of common resolutions are not resolutions at all.  They are goals.  What are your goals and resolutions for 2019?

May you all be blessed in the new year!
Jennifer

Puzzled by Life

Another day on the beach and another blog post. If you are still reading, I’m glad. I used to blog a lot more until I got a full time job as an activities director at an old folks home. Now I blog when I have time or like currently, when I’m on vacation. 

I brought a 1500 piece puzzle to work on while we are here. We have it spread out on the kitchen table in our condo. It occurred to me while working on some of the harder parts of the puzzle that a puzzle is much like our lives. It’s a lot easier to figure out what part of the puzzle goes where when you use the picture of what it looks like when it’s finished. Unfortunately in life, we don’t have a picture to look at when times get hard and our pieces of our lives don’t seem to fit just right. We just have to trust that God has the picture and we just keep turning the pieces this way and that until they fit. Sometimes we get satisfaction in figuring out pieces of our lives and putting them together into a beautiful picture and other times, we work and work to no avail. 

It just looks like an overwhelming mess. God has the picture in His hands and knows how the pieces of our lives go together. One day, He will sit us in His lap and show us the picture and it will all make sense. Until then, we have the written picture of the Bible that will help us along the way. Ultimately, God holds the picture. He knows how all of it fits together. 

All we need to do is keep plugging at it. Turning the pieces of our lives this way and that until they make something recognizable. Sometimes our lives are harder to put together than others, but one day it will all make sense. May we all have faith to keep on keeping on even when the pieces don’t fit or make sense. 

Jennifer

Even the Wind and the Waves Obey

As I sit on the beach, I reflect on the power of the ocean. It’s sound is mesmerizing. It’s smell is intoxicating. It’s sound is rejuvenating. Hurricane Michael is wreaking havoc on the panhandle of  lorida with 140 MPH winds and surfs as treacherous as the panhandle has ever seen. Here in Gulf Shores, we are far enough west that we are not bothered by the hurricane. However, the wind is incredibly powerful here as residual from Michael. The waves are as high and as spectacular as I have ever seen them. They are crashing at a rate that I have only seen on tv. Yet, here I am, live, witnessing it with my own two eyes. I am blessed and highly favored. 

As I sit and reflect, Jesus’ teaching comes to mind. Particularly in Mark chapter 4 where Jesus was teaching and he went out in a boat to teach so that the people on the shore could hear and see him.  Later in that same chapter, he goes away with his disciples and takes a nap in the boat. In a panic, they wake him saying paraphrased, How can you sleep when the water is raging into the boat?  They were human. Worriers. 

Jesus Stills the Sea

      35On that day, when evening came, He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36Leaving the crowd, they took Him along with them in the boat, just as He was; and other boats were with Him. 37And there arose a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up. 38Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” 39And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. 40And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” 41They became very much afraid and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?” 

Worrying gets us nowhere. It is not a profitable use of our time. These guys were worrying and Jesus sits up and calms the sea and the wind with his words. Just like that. As I sit here on the beach watching the fury of the waves crashing in and the wind blowing so hard and marvel at the fact that not only was all creation spoken into existence, but the wind and the waves obey his command. Jesus could walk up on this beach right now and command the waves to stop and the wind to cease and it would happen. Incredible and yet, I believe. As we go through life together on this earth, may we always remember that the One who can speak the world into submission loves us enough to die for us and we live for Him. Faith over fear. Prayer over worry. Peace over turmoil. It’s a gift we receive without deserving. Take advantage of it and skip the worry. God’s got this. He can speak the waves into submission, He has your little part of the world covered also. 

Jennifer

New Every Morning

I haven’t blogged in a while. I’ve had a lot of thoughts but haven’t made time to write them. I’m at the beach this week and I feel my most creative and reflective at the beach so here is the fruit of that reflection. 

We can dig the biggest holes and build the largest sandcastles on the sand every day and each morning, the beach is smooth and magnificent and perfect and new. The waves and tide come in and wash the sand back into the holes and flatten the sand sculptures back to perfect beach every day.  It reminds me of a scripture. 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. 

Lamentations 3:22-23

No matter what holes we may dig in our lives or what elements we add to the top that may not belong in our lives but are pretty to look at(much like sand castles), God wipes us clean every morning. The waves balance the beach back to center. Perfect North. Ready for what the new day will bring. A new kid with a shovel, a new artist with an idea for the sand, a new family to have fun. No matter what the day may bring, the beach is smooth and ready and fresh every morning. 

We are like the beach and God is the ocean. We can make a mess of our lives or build things that are beautiful to look at or catch our eyes. But in the morning, God has made it all new again, smooth, fresh, a new beginning. A new day, a new start, a renewed sense of hope for the future. Let’s all take advantage of God’s gift to us each day of a fresh start. Leave behind yesterday and it’s follies and look at today. Tomorrow may never come, yesterday is gone, all we have is today. Fresh and new. Make it the best day ever!

Jennifer

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