Afraid of Dying

I have never been afraid of dying but I believe a lot of people are.  I am around many of them on a daily basis at work as an activity director at an old folks home.  In fact, one woman in particular is terrified of dying.  I am not sure why but I’d like to ask her sometime.  I think some people wonder if it hurts to die.  With my work, I have been privileged to sit at the death bed of several of my best buddies as they transition home.   One particular friend was conscious enough before she went on morphine that she was able to describe it to me.  I asked her, “Does it hurt to die?”  She stated, “Yes, but I keep lifting up to the most beautiful sight.  Then I drop back down again because it isn’t time yet.”  She was dying from complications from diabetes.She had open wounds between her toes so I can see how that hurt. I can tell you from experience that drowning is a very peaceful way to go.  I drowned when I was 10 years old.  I remember it vividly still to this day.  I remember being scared at first when I knew I couldn’t hold my breath anymore but once I took that first breath of water it was the most peaceful feeling I can ever remember.  I still think about that often.  I saw bright light and I remember looking around in the water and seeing how beautiful blue it was and feeling such a glorious feeling of weightlessness and peace in my little 10 year old body as I breathed the water in and out of my lungs.  Then as everything was moving toward the light, I remember being thrown up onto the side of the pool and people pushing on me hard and then me coughing up lots and lots of water.  I don’t know how long I was under there but I remember needing a nap when that was over.  The funny thing is that even with that experience, I have never been afraid of water.  Maybe I am not afraid because I know how peaceful and painless it is to drown. 

God knows us so well because He made us and He knows that it is common to fear dying.  So I think it is pretty amazing to look at how God prepares us for natural death from old age.  Where I work, every day I see people in varying degrees of poor health.  I see their decline and ultimate end although they sometimes move on to a higher level of care before that end comes.  I look at how people get diabetes, high blood pressure, heart issues, blood clotting, strokes, inability to take in nourishment, etc.  Most of the people I deal with, by the time they are near death they are ready.  They are tired of hurting.  They are tired of struggling and have little quality of life left.  God is pretty cool like that to prepare us for natural death.  We become ready.  We become tired and want to sleep.  Even in the end, God has our back.

Sometimes it is good to consider our own mortality.  We are on vacation here on this earth.  One day we will all go home, but on every other day, we will enjoy our vacation and spread joy like confetti to all we come in contact with.  Get out there today and sprinkle kindness and love into our world.  Thank you for reading my blog.  Please give me a like and a follow and a share!

Jennifer

Mountain Moving Faith

Did you know that God spoke this world into existence?  Did you know that he used His breath to create the moon and stars?  If He can do those things, and we believe that He did, then why do we pray and not expect God to do what we ask of Him?  

The Bible tells us to ask and it will be given to us. Seek and we will find. Knock and the door will be opened unto us. He tells us that if we have faith of a mustard seed that we can move mountains. He can say to a mountain, “move from here to here” and the mountain will move.  We should take God at His word and accept His promises. But we don’t. We believe, but are filled with unbelief. 

When we pray, we should believe that God can do what we want Him to do. Many times, we pray and then “hope” that He will grant our wishes. If we “hope” then we don’t truly believe. We should never doubt God’s ability to give us what we want. After all, He spoke the world into existence, surely he can grant our piddly request. When we pray, we should wholeheartedly believe that it’s coming. Trust that God will do it. And look for it to happen as we believe He can and will. 

Tweak your thinking. Don’t hope that God will help. KNOW that God will help. EXPECT God to help. Then LOOK FOR The help that God gives us. 

Lord, we believe but forgive our unbelief. 

Check out my Facebook page, Fun Thoughts on Life. Give me a like and a share. Don’t forget to hire me to speak at your next event. I do corporate speaking, small group speaking, large group speaking or series of topics. I can rally your troops and get them motivated to be productive. 

Jennifer

The Secret to Puzzles

Jigsaw puzzles are fun.  Some are extremely complicated, some not as much.  There are 500 pieces, 1,000 pieces, or 20 pieces.  Some of the pictures you try to put together are extremely complicated like a sea of candy corn.  Others have a variety of colors and pattern so they are not as difficult to piece together.  Have you ever tried to piece together a puzzle with no box top?  No guide as to what the finished product should look like?  Does it make it even harder to work the puzzle?

Life is like a huge puzzle with many pieces.  Some parts of life are complicated to put together.  Other parts are not as hard.  The fact remains that we do not have the box top to know what the big picture is.  God holds the box top.  Our lives are His story.  He is the best screenwriter there has ever been.  He holds the picture of what our life ultimately will look like.  

If we don't have the guide, the picture, the box top, then why do we continue to work so hard to put all the pieces together?  It would be so much easier if we just sit back and watch the show, God's show, and "perform" as we feel led instead of trying to control every little piece of our puzzle or every little aspect of our lives.  When we try to work the puzzle with all the pieces and no box top, we are basically doing an exercise in futility, having to work and rework the puzzle ultimately getting frustrated and mad with life.  

We are like little children sitting at the feet of Jesus.  Everything from our perspective looks gray, muddled, and messy.  But one day, God will set us up on His lap and show us what it all meant.  Give us His perspective and let us see our box top that He had all along.    May we all sit back and watch the show.  May we sit back and be led and allow God to place our pieces.  We will all be more peaceful, more relaxed, and more content when we realize that God has the answers and someday He will share them with us when he sets us on his lap in Heaven.

I was not actively searching for the great things that are going to be announced on Monday with my blog.  I was simply sitting back, watching the show, and moving as I felt led.  Each day telling God that where He steps I will follow.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine where God has taken me through this blog.

When I started writing my blog, I didn't even know what I would write about because my thoughts were so random.  But through the vision of one woman who sent me the link to how to start a blog comes the amazing launch of something incredible happening in my life.  I wasn't trying to work and rework my puzzle pieces into something I dreamed up.  I was simply sitting at the feet of Jesus, moving as I felt led, and sitting back and watching the show.  Well, I sure hope you are excited to hear what my news is.  Two more days and I will be revealing what God has been doing.  You won't be disappointed!  

Thank you so much for reading my blog.  Without readers I would not be where I am today.  Please share my blog and subscribe to receive updates when I write something new.  Stay tuned to this blog for the big announcement on Monday!  

Have a great weekend!

Jennifer

Sporting Sheet Marks

I showed up on a Saturday morning to run with my friends a few weeks ago only to have it pointed out to me that I had sheet marks on my face.  NICE!  The very next day when I was going into church my husband pointed out to me that I had sheet marks all over my arms.  Today while in church, my husband leaned over and said, "You are covered in sheet marks."  I texted my running buddy that I had sheet marks on me again this morning and she said something that sparked the inspiration behind today's blog post.  She said, "I don't get sheet marks because I flip and flop in the bed so much I don't have time to get them."  I began to ponder this statement because I have always woken up with sheet marks from laying still in the bed.  I have always slept like a rock thus I am always covered in sheet marks for hours after awaking each morning.  After my friend's statement my mind began to wander as it does so often.  This is what my mind wandered to:


What kind of sheet marks are you covered in?  What do you "lay in" long enough in one spot to sport the sheet marks from it?  Are you laying in God's word, so that when you go to Walmart people stop you and say, "You have sheet marks of the Lord all over your arms." ?  How about social media?  Do you spend so much time on the computer that you bear the sheet marks of internet?  Do you focus so much on money that you bear the sheet marks of a workaholic?  How about sheet marks from your children?  Do you focus so much on them that you neglect your husband? Good deeds, helping the helpless, being a friend, showing Jesus to someone, donating your time are all good sheet marks to bear.  Pornography, drugs, alcohol overuse, internet, selfishness are all sheet marks we need to remove from our bodies.  What sheet marks are you bearing today?  Good or bad?

My friend's comment has sparked a stream of thought in my head.  Today I sit watching football and thinking about what sheet marks I need to keep and which sheet marks I need to purge from my life.  Let us all lay long enough in the fruits of the spirit-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control, that we bear the sheet marks from them every day.

Now THAT is a point to ponder!  I hope you enjoy my blog.  Please subscribe to the right so you won't miss a single update.  If you are on a mobile device, then scroll to the bottom and click on web version. Then you can subscribe in the column at the right.  Have a great day today!

Jennifer

HOW to Take One Day at a Time

Don't you just become disappointed when you get a teaser for a tv show, a movie, or even a Bible class that tells you what you can look forward to next week only to look forward to it, anticipate it, attend or watch it then discover that you really didn't get out of it what you expected to hear or learn?  I was in a Bible class about a year ago that gave just such a teaser.  The teacher said, "Next week, we will be discussing how to live one day at a time.".  I was so excited about knowing how to live like that!  I anticipated it all week.  Finally it was time to go to the Bible class and for the first time in a long time, I actually had some hands on education that helped me understand how to take one day at a time.

The teacher explained it like this:  The past is gone.  As much as we would like to change it, or do it differently, it is gone.  Never to be regained or seen again.  It is over.  Gone.  Done.  We can't change the past.  We can't have a mulligan in life as much as we may like one.

The future is secure.  If we are baptized believers in Christ then our future is secure with Him.  He knows the future and we need not concern ourselves with it because Christ is already there and has all of our future secured just for us.

God gave us this moment-the present.  He knew when He made us that we could not handle knowing everything that was going to happen to us along the way.  He knew that we could only handle what was right in front of us right this very moment.

When you are concerned about things that happened in the past, or anxious about things that may or may not happen in the future, then take a moment and refocus.  Remember that all God expects us to handle is this moment right now.  Our past is just that-in the past.  Gone, done, finished.  Our future is secure and we need not worry about something that is already taken care of.  All we need to concern ourselves with is the present.

Folks, tomorrow never comes.  When "tomorrow" gets here it is the present.  So in all reality there is no tomorrow.  The tomorrow we always talk about is secure.  Let's focus on the present and do with it what can glorify God in the moment.

God is so smart to realize that I can only deal with what is right in front of me.  Imagine that anxiety we would have if we could see into the future or be able to fix or dabble in the past.  We would not be able to keep our heads screwed on straight.  We are made human, and humans can deal with the very small moment called the Now.

THAT is a Point to Ponder.  I hope you all have a wonderful day today!  Revel in the moment for it is all we have.  Subscribe at the right to my blog so you won't miss an update.  Thanks so much for reading.  Please share my blog with your friends!

Jennifer

Little Things

I never have been one to only look forward to the big vacation.  Oh don't get me wrong, I love to sail away on a Caribbean Cruise, go to Disney World, or lay on the beach for a week.  But I have discovered in my life that it is the little things that are most important.  After all, if we sit around waiting for the trip to Disney then we are going to spend an awful lot of time being miserable and only a few days being at the Happiest Place on Earth.  Pain is inevitable in this old life, but misery is optional.  I choose every day to be happy in the little things.

My happiness has gone up exponentially in the past week because my best friend has her son at a point where he is out of the woods.  So she and I have had some serious fun lately and I feel like life is somewhat back to normal after sitting at the feet of near tragedy for two months.  God is on the throne with her son, and with all of us.  He is going to do great things in God's kingdom and I am so grateful to have a front seat to view the show.  Little things like his being able to talk now when I go over there.  That he can tell me about the plot of the Hobbit.  He has to put his finger over his trach to talk but he is talking.  Little things make me happy.  The fact that he could join us while creek wading made me happy.  He didn't want to because he is not an outdoors kind of guy, but he COULD.  Little things.

When we pause to appreciate the little things in life, our life is filled with more zeal.  More authenticity.  Sometimes we have to remove some of the noise in life to appreciate.  I was blessed while at camp to be visited each and every day at the same time by the same bird who flew out of the same spot in the woods and did the same ritual.  It was a moment each day that brought great joy to me and made me feel like God himself had come to visit me and have lunch with me.

Every day I would drive the specialty counselors up the hill to the lodge at camp for lunch.  One day I was visited by a red bird.  He flew out of the woods, landed on my right side mirror and then landed on my windshield wiper and looked at me through the windshield.  I was fascinated by the visit.  The next day, he did the same thing.  It got to the point that I didn't go into the lodge to eat lunch anymore, I just stayed in the bus so I could visit with my little bird friend.  I was sad on the last day of camp for the summer because I would not see my little bird friend anymore until next summer.  Then I realized that God spoke to Moses through a bush.  If Moses had not paid attention to the bush, then God would not have been able to speak to him.  Little things like bushes and birds give us opportunity to listen and commune with God.  If we are so busy that we don't pay attention to little things like birds and bushes then we will never truly be able to commune with our Lord.  At least not on a raw, personal level.

Something else has been on my mind lately about little things.  My oldest daughter has hearing aids.  If you need update on that situation, please go to my archives at the right and read, "Witnessing a Modern Day Miracle".  She has not been putting her hearing aids in regularly lately and it occurred to me that I may have discovered the answer to that.  I have asked her about the lack of wearing them and most of the time get a defensive answer but not yesterday.  Yesterday I got a very candid answer that confirmed what I had thought was happening.  She has been in the deaf world for 18 years and it is comfortable to her.  When she wears her hearing aids, sounds scare her and the world is very loud to her.  For example she was frightened this 4th of July because she heard fireworks for the first time.  They scared her to death.  The sound of the ice maker scares her.  The sound of the air conditioner cutting on in the house scares her.  These are things she never heard before and now that she can, the hearing world is a scary place to her.  She enjoys the solitude of her deaf world.  She likes to read lips.  She likes to hear also, but it is so loud she likes to retreat to her solitude.  She feels like people are yelling at her even though they are just having a normal conversation.   We all need solitude in our lives.  Time to stop and smell the roses, experience quiet, hear nothing.  Little things.

Let's all stop and appreciate some little things.  Notice the bushes, birds, butterflies and solitude that is available to us each day.  It is then that we truly can commune with God.

Thank you so much for reading my blog!  Subscribe at the right to receive updates when I write a new post.  Have a fabulous day!!

Jennifer

God: 1 Boy: 0 I Like That Score

I have had more mixed emotions in the past 5 days than I can ever remember having.  In the midst of the wonderful excitement of my oldest daughter's graduation tragedy struck.  We still had a perfect celebration and things went great with that and my next blog post will be about how to create the perfect celebration.  I got a gutwrenching call from one of my friends about some police activity at a home that she wanted me to confirm who lived there.  As I grabbed my stomach and heart from the floor, I jumped in the car to go to the house of my best friend.  She was away on a vacation with her husband and her grown children were at home going to their jobs and going about life.  LOTS of police cars, crime scene unit, and an ambulance pulled away as I drove up.  I ran to the scene as I was dialing my friend praying all the way.  No way all this activity could be good.

Fast forward, I sat on the curb praying all the while the investigators went about their work.  My friend's son was rushed to the hospital with a gunshot wound.  We all prayed that it was an accident.  As of this moment it does not appear to be accidental but self inflicted.  My mind wanders.  HOW can a person decide this but live to tell about it?  What is God doing here?  My friends son said, "No, I'm done."  God said, "No, you are not done."  It is another modern day miracle I have witnessed.  My cup runneth over with praise for the almighty God and that He is ON HIS THRONE.  Wow, God, I can't wait to see what you are doing in this one.  This is better than any movie a talented producer could dream up!

This young man will be hope for the hopeless, help for the helpless, dreams for the dreamless, faith for the faithless, he will be a witness of God's great love, the power of prayer, and the fact that our plan is not always God's plan and only God's plan is perfect.  This young man is building my faith even though he doesn't even realize it.  It is those who truly can say "I have been there." that can validate and help those who feel like life is not worth living.  God has big plans for this young man.  I am thrilled to have a front row seat to watch God's show.  Praise HIM!

I had the honor of sitting with his sister at the hospital yesterday and she made some comments that won't ever leave me.  She said in paraphrase, "I understand the power of prayer.  Look at this burn on my finger I got last Monday.  It is not any better than it was when I got it and look at my brother.  All these people praying for him and he is making daily strides toward recovery that even baffle the doctors.  I believe in the power of prayer.  It works."  Her faith is increasing.  Maybe in ways it wouldn't have if not tested in this tragic way.

He must have felt alone that day.  And yet, a Facebook site set up to keep folks informed has hundreds of likes already.  A boy that is loved.  People giving hugs and support to the family.  A boy that is loved.  God plucking him out of his own despair.  A boy that is loved.  Parents that rushed home and sit bedside 24/7 praying fervently.  A boy that is loved.  A sister who showed strength that surpassed understanding.  A boy that is loved.

The boy said "I can't".  God said "With me, you can".  He saved the boys life last Wednesday.  All glory to the one and only, all powerful, living God.  Keep your eyes peeled.  This boy is going to do great things in God's Kingdom.

Current Score-  God:1
                          Boy-0
I like that score :)

Free at Last

Today is quite a momentous day for me as a mother.  I am certain that my oldest is quite excited about this day as well, but maybe not in the same way that I am.  Today I am going for the official dismissal from the Special Education program, which she never needed in the first place, for my beautiful daughter.  Two weeks from tomorrow she will graduate from high school.  Does it matter that her dismissal comes just before she graduates?  Does it matter that she was in the program for years and received services and was called names because of it and yet she will receive official dismissal when it really won't matter at this point?  Yes.  Yes it does.  It matters to me and it matters to her.  I made sure this official dismissal took place.  I have some things to say today to whom it may concern.  I could have just let this go and let her graduate and forget about this with a new start in college.  I like new starts, God gives us a new day, a new moment.  I am seizing this moment and clearing my daughter's name and records from the bondage of misdiagnosis and mistreatment.  So yes, it matters.  She will get a new start in college in August but by george she will get a new start today with 6 days of school left for her.

If you need background on what I am talking about today, please go to blog archives and read "Witnessing a Modern Day Miracle".

Every year I have had to go to an IEP meeting.  I loathe IEP meetings because they eternally are talking about "disabilities" and "abnormalities" and those who conduct these meetings seem to forget they are talking about my beautiful daughter that is perfect in my eyes and is smart, and funny, and precious and kind, and compassionate, and most importantly is a child of the King.  I have spent many years wanting to bang my fist on the table and yell, "Did you notice how she was a friend to someone less fortunate?  Did you notice how she is always about something that is good and wholesome and right?  Did you notice how hard she works to get what she does?  Did you forget that I squeezed her out of my bottom and I can show you all kinds of crazy if you don't say something good about my girl?  Is what she can show you on a piece of paper ALL that matters to you?  Have you looked at her heart?"  Each year I warn my best friend that I am about to go to my meeting.  She mobilizes and knows that I am going to call her madder than a wet hen because of how they talk in the meeting.  Well not today.  I have a few things to say.  Heaven help them while I speak my peace.  I will bring up how in second grade they wanted to have her repeat that grade.  I will bring up how in 6th grade they wanted to have her repeat that grade.  I would not let them.  I wouldn't because I was listening to God and what He thought was best and not what the educational system thought was best.  I firmly believe that had I given in to what "they" thought was best for my girl that I would have a different story to tell today.  I believe that she quite possibly could have given up and dropped out of school.  If I had let them repeat her twice then she would be 18 years old and a sophomore.  Did "they" think what that would do to a girl's self esteem?  I couldn't blame her for wanting to give up and I am not a quitter.  Are they really "disabilities" or do we just all have different abilities and the system tries to put us all into a mold when we don't all fit into that mold?  If God wanted us to fit a mold then wouldn't He have made us all exactly alike and look exactly the same?

I will bring up the fact that if I had laid down as a mother and not advocated for my child and not told them what I would allow them to do with her then she would not be graduating this year, would not have received the Hope Scholarship for academic excellence, would not be wearing an honors banner on her graduation gown for exceptional grades in high school, would not have been accepted to college where she will begin attending in the fall, would not have made straight A's for 3 of 4 grading periods?  Because I bucked the system she IS.  She IS graduating, made straight A's on the world's scale, got the Hope Scholarship, will wear an honors banner, and IS going to college.  She never needed special education in the first place, she simply could not hear.  Well now she CAN.

Now by no stretch of the imagination am I suggesting that the educational system stinks, or that this is all the school's fault.  I don't believe that for one moment.  I believe this is not our story, this is God's story and what He writes is perfect.  My daughter would not be the hard working princess she is today if not for the hardships she has endured through the years.  I would not change a thing that has occurred in these past 18 years.  It has made us all what we are today.  We were being molded into who we are today.  What I am saying is be an advocate for your children.  Don't just take what doctor's or educators say about your child.  Take what God says about them.  Do what is best for them.  Go with your gut.  My gut said different than the system all these years and now, just a few short weeks ago we all learned that my gut was right.  And look at the results that have come from it.

We are having a graduation party for my girl in two weeks.  I could certainly be wrong but I feel like my girl graduating is a bigger deal than maybe some other kids. Probably even a bigger deal than my other two kids when they graduate.  There is a huge story behind her graduating, not just a career of lollipops and rainbows.  It is a graduation of perseverance, of not backing down, of not giving up.  Each person invited to the party has had a significant role in getting my girl where she is today.  I wish I had time to tell each person the role they played.  They may not even know the role they played.  Rest assured, if you received an invitation, you played a huge role.  This isn't about graduation gifts.  This is about the greater good of a child.  Of seeing past the outside and seeing straight to the heart. 

Today I am going to that meeting.  I am going to witness them writing dismissal papers from the Special Education program that she did not need in the first place.  She just needed hearing aids.  She needs official dismissal so she can kick the dust of this town off her feet and fly.  Do I wonder what she may have been able to accomplish if she had not been misdiagnosed?  Sometimes, in my darkest hour.  But I push that thinking down and let the cream rise to the top.  This is God's story, not mine.  I am just proud I have it to tell.  It is not a story I would have chosen to have to tell, but it is all mine and I am proud of it because God chose me to be a character in it.  My faith has made me whole.

Thank you so much for reading my blog.  I am so grateful for the opportunities this has brought to me and gives me a medium to share my thoughts.  I hope my story helps just one person.

You are NOT alone.  I felt alone for many years and kept all of this to myself.  Alone is not a good place to be.  May God bless each and every one of you and May God bless those people who are in the meeting today.  I have a word or two to speak ;)

Becoming an Angel

Yesterday was a heartbreaking day.  A young friend of mine was taken all too soon.  Fine one day, gone the next.  Those left behind scramble to find comfort, reason, answers.  The fact is that there may be no answers this side of heaven.  Comfort will be found in the warmth of a touch, the smile of a friend, the words of someone who has experienced this kind of loss.

As memories flood back, I can't remember ever meeting her.  We grew up knowing each other.  She was a few years older than me, so we didn't run in the same crowds in the youth group, but we knew each other.  Our families were in small group Bible study together years ago and that was when we really connected.  We had common ground with trying to raise Christian boys.  We talked about educational struggles with our boys and hard decisions we made along the way concerning our children.  She and I made some of the same decisions about our boys together as we put our heads together thinking about the greater good of our children, not just what was good for the moment.  The last long conversation we had was a few weeks back when we had lunch together for folks who wanted to become World Bible School Teachers.  We were both excited about this opportunity.  We talked about how hard it is to talk to others about Jesus in person and how some people have that gift and some don't.  We both joked that we didn't have that gift, but that we could teach online.  We talked about our boys.  We talked about my oldest graduating.  We just talked...I treasure that talk.

When tragedy strikes, we wonder why?  I look at this situation and cry for her mother, for her husband, for her twin boys, for her step-daughter.  I cry for her friends, for her family, for everyone here on earth who is grieving her loss.  But I don't wonder why.  My faith tells me that God took her for a reason.  He is writing a story here that we can't see the ending yet.  We may not see the ending this side of Heaven.  Why not Her?  She was a perfect candidate for God to take.  She loved Him, she was a baptized believer, she was a faithful wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter  child of the King.  We are all here on earth in the appetizer phase of our lives.  This is not the main course, folks.  Hang on to your fork because the best is yet to come.  My friend is there.  No doubt in my mind.  She is sitting at the table of the main course.  We all want to be.  Take me too, Lord!  Come quickly.

My mind is heavy thinking of why.  Then the why not's invade my brain.  Why not a perfectly healthy woman, young, vibrant, for she is an organ donor.  Her organs can save many lives.  Possibly unbelievers.  They will have more time to come to know Jesus through this life-giving act.  My friend didn't need more time.  She knew Jesus.  Now she has met him.  Others who lay in the hospital sick with terminal disease can find the gift of time today as they receive a new organ from my friend.  A healthy organ.  God is on the throne and His message is being sent to nonbelievers in the form of organs today.  My friend lives on, and she is able to spread the Word to others, something she wanted to do and did so while she was here on earth.

Mourning is for the living.  I mourn today, not for my friend, I am excited for her, sitting at the throne of God and worshiping His Holy name.  I mourn for her family.  I am sad for those of us still on earth who my friend brought a ray of sunshine to their lives.  I am sad for her boys.  May they truly feel how proud their mom was of them.  If ever they forget, I can give them an earful.  I know because my friend and I talked about our boys a lot.  Today is a sad day here on earth.  One of God's greatest has left us to go to her eternal reward.  When we have been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun, we have no less days to sing God's praise than when we first begun.  I am so so sad.  So heartbroken.  So lost.  Lord, Come quickly and get us all, give more time to those who need to know you and let others come to know you through my friend's gift of life.  Amen.

I have lost a friend, and heaven has gained an Angel.  Save me a seat, My Friend, I am coming!  I am going to watch over our boys.  We are raising Christian boys just like we wanted to.  You did good with your twins.  They are awesome!!  I will hug them and tell them how proud you are of them. I will comfort them as best I can.  They are good boys.  The best.  You did great.  Tell Jesus hello for me!

Witnessing a Modern Day Miracle and Realization of Dreams

I am generally a very funny person but this morning I blog with a cup that runneth over with joy.  Let me start by saying that I have finally been granted permission by my oldest daughter to share her story.  It is a beautiful story that God wrote from the very beginning.  It has many gorgeous details and a lot of heartache.  It is a story of perseverance, the triumph of the human spirit, never backing down, and most importantly following God when the way seems dark and lonely and you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I am beyond delighted to have permission to write her story.  Some of the details will be left out still, simply to protect her.  It is my prayer as I candidly type her story that it will give even just one person hope for another day.

My oldest daughter is about to turn 18 in a few short weeks.  She will be graduating high school this year and attending college in the fall.  When she was born, I had so many hopes and dreams for her like all moms do.  I remember laying on the bed with her when she was a few days old and crying because I wanted her to be able to remain so innocent the rest of her life.  I knew the world was cruel and I just ached for what she would experience and see in this old world one day.  I knew I couldn't save her from everything, but I vowed to that baby that day that I would die trying.  It is a vow I have kept to my beautiful girl.

Fast forward to school days:  Every mom gets excited and sad when their child goes off to Kindergarten, and every mom just knows that their kid is the smartest, the most adorable, etc.  Up until they go to Kindergarten they ARE!  but all of a sudden, they are judged on the world's scale in a school and it isn't always as pretty as we dreamed it to be.  If you have a child that makes straight A's all the time and work is simple for them, I am so incredibly happy for you.  I no longer wish that was my lot in life for motherhood.  I am grateful for every tear that was shed over homework and every mean thing that has been said to my girl because this is God's story and my girl has turned into an incredibly hard worker, self motivated, Christian young lady who will do amazing things in God's kingdom in her life.  I spent many years crying and praying that things be easier for my girl.  Praise God that He said, "No".

Fast Forward-2nd Grade:  Having had a terrible time in school and grades that suffered, we began to believe there was a problem.  We took her to have her eyes tested and her hearing tested. Then ultimately had testing done through the school and pediatrician where the ultimate diagnosis was Attention Deficit Disorder and a learning disablility.  NOT what I dreamed of when my girl was born.  We moved on, and things improved with knowledge of how to deal with our daughter.  A behavioral therapist was involved and also was able to help us tremendously to teach our daughter how to deal with her "lot".

Kids are mean and there have been many hurtful things uttered to our girl about being dumb and stupid and "special ed".  I can't believe that special ed is actually a term children use to refer to another one of God's creatures.  In our home, we celebrate D's if we worked hard to get them.  ABCDF are letters used to judge knowledge on the world's scale, NOT GOD'S SCALE.  God's scale judges how much character a child has, and how loving they are, and whether or not they are kind to one another.  My girl is all of these things.

In 6th grade, there was new legislation that allowed a child to receive special education services for medical reasons such as Attention Deficit Disorder as well as learning disability.  We made a very hard decision to place her in that program so she could receive the best education opportunity she could receive.

In the meantime, I prayed daily for my girl that things be easier for her and many other specifics as they arose.  Also in the meantime, she grew to love the Lord even more, she grew in stature and faith and in favor with God and man.  She learned to work circles around the other "smarter" kids in class, learned to be incredibly organized, and learned to develop tough skin for hurtful words from mean kids and teasing that was not meant to be teasing but was hurtful even from her best friends.

Fast Forward-12th grade:  She was accepted to college by the grace of God based on her grades which was a feat orchestrated entirely by the one and only God.  Her grade point average continued to rise, provisions were taken away gradually as we learned to learn to where ultimately in the 11th and 12th grade, all special education provisions were removed and my girl was allowed to spread her wings and fly.  She recently received her first set of straight A's.  We all cried and celebrated because we knew that she had finally proved on the world's scale just once that she was smart, a quality that we knew she was all along, but now the world had proof.  TAKE THAT world!!

We had to go to the pediatrician to get booster shots for college and upon the checkup protocol, a hearing test which she failed miserably.  We have had hearing tests almost yearly and she never had passed one, even when we took her to Bill Wilkerson Hearing Institute at Vanderbilt when she was 10.  It was always treated with antibiotics and antihistamines to remove fluid, repair burst ear drum, or some other medical anomaly that may have been present in her ears at the time.  Our pediatrician referred her to an audiologist and a doctor of facial and head surgery to be evaluated for hearing.  We attended the appointment where we were told that our daughter had "severe hearing loss".  The doctor continued to talk and I began to cry not because he told me my daughter needed hearing aids, but because he told our entire story in the context of her hearing loss and he had never met us before to know the struggles our child had in school.  All these things were related to hearing loss and not Attention Deficit Disorder OR a learning disability.  The child simply could not hear.  Now, many would be furious, but not me.  No sir!!  We can't look back we can only look forward, and praise God that we found this!  Had God intended us to find out this problem before now, He would have let it be known and her failed hearing tests would not have been dismissed as fluid, ear infection, etc.

Yesterday I witnessed a miracle.  I praise God and thank Him tearfully that I was able to witness His miracle.  We went to the Audiologist who fitted my girl with hearing aids.  They were programmed to her hearing loss via computer and placed in her ears.  Folks, THIS is what you look like when you are able to hear for the very first time in your life.

My girl was literally giddy when she heard for the first time. She got very teary eyed because she was hearing for the very first time in her life. She started laughing and listening.  The audiologist said, "go outside and ask her a question without her being able to see you"  My girl said, "I heard that!"  She rubbed the chair arm that I was sitting in and pulled her hand away like she touched something hot and I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "OMgoodness did you hear that?  The chair arm makes noise when you rub it!"  She proceeded to tap, whistle and laugh a lot.  I looked over at her because she was making so much noise I couldn't hear the audiologist.  She said, "I am just enjoying hearing!"  Our moments since yesterday have involved her self discovery of the world of hearing.  It is something we take for granted every day.  I will not take this for granted another day.  It has been a wonderful time to watch how excited she is about every noise that I never think about but that she has never heard.  She texted me and said she said the pledge today.  She had not heard it before.

I am so grateful that God chose me to be this fabulous girl's mother.  She has taught me more about life that I would ever have learned from anywhere else.  I am also grateful that God chose to write this wonderful story for my girl and for all the heartache that goes with it, for it made her what she is today: perfect!I will leave you with a picture of my girl showing you her miracle pieces that set her free from the bondage of misdiagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder and a learning disability.

Amanda Dugger Photography did my daughter's senior pictures and also designed her graduation announcements.  The quote that was placed on the front of the announcement is from Eleanor Roosevelt.  It reads, 

 The Future Belongs to Those who Believe in the Beauty of their Dreams

I believe...and so does my girl.  We always have, even when times were tough, we always believed.

Visit www.amandaduggerphotography

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff AKA A Mouse in a Car

If God can part the Red Sea to allow Moses and the Egyptians to cross on dry land, then He can SURELY place a mouse in a car.

This week has been a real eye opener to not sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff.  My dad, who is my biggest fan, the man who is my first love, who never acted annoyed by my presence no matter how busy he was when I was growing up, the one who loves me unconditionally and is the embodiment of my "glass half full attitude, has been in the hospital with a life threatening problem.  When a doctor says to you, "Your dad could bleed to death in less than a minute.  He needs life saving surgery.", you sit up and take notice real quick.

Apparently, not majoring in minors is a lesson much needed in the Anglin home because God taught it to us in a most unusual way:

The Setting:  the car

The Problem: A protein bar that had been opened but not visibly eaten

The Story:  A protein bar was stored in the car for lunch one day.  When it was decided to be eaten, it was discovered that the package had been opened and when reached for, crumbs sprinkled all over.  A call was received at the hospital while my dad was in a serious condition to explain the opened and partially eaten bar.  The call was very quickly dispelled, upon frustration with such a minor problem being addressed during a grave situation.  Not happy with no solution to the much important protein bar, more Anglins were called and questioned about the protein bar.  Upon arriving home, the bar was produced and shown to the Anglins and the questioning continued since no perpetrator has been found.  One Anglin picked up the Protein Bar and immediately saw the problem.  There was no way that a human had opened, much less eaten this bar.  The teeth marks were way too tiny and the packaging had been chewed off and some was missing.  (Another case solved by the FBI agent in the home)  It was then stated that the "crumbs that scattered from the package were possibly not crumbs at all.  ;)

The Conversation:
Anglin A-Who ever heard of a mouse in a car? And how could a mouse even get in a car:
Anglin B-If God could part the Red Sea for Moses and the Egyptians to walk across on dry land, then I am certain He could place a mouse in a car to teach us what is important in life.

The Plan:
Set a mouse trap in the car with a piece of protein bar as bait.

The Resolution:

The Lesson:  Don't major in minors.

Folks, lets all take a step back and realize what is important in life:  God, Family and Friends-all people.  Not protein bars, not stuff, just people.  Now that is a point to ponder.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, hug your kids and your family a little tighter and hug God by reading His word and talking to Him through prayer.  My dad is going to be ok.  He is home recovering and will have a second surgery on March 27, my daughter's 18th birthday.  I will be celebrating life in two ways that day:  The birth of my oldest, and the gift of life for my Daddy.  I am ever so grateful for both.