Afraid of Dying

I have never been afraid of dying but I believe a lot of people are.  I am around many of them on a daily basis at work as an activity director at an old folks home.  In fact, one woman in particular is terrified of dying.  I am not sure why but I’d like to ask her sometime.  I think some people wonder if it hurts to die.  With my work, I have been privileged to sit at the death bed of several of my best buddies as they transition home.   One particular friend was conscious enough before she went on morphine that she was able to describe it to me.  I asked her, “Does it hurt to die?”  She stated, “Yes, but I keep lifting up to the most beautiful sight.  Then I drop back down again because it isn’t time yet.”  She was dying from complications from diabetes.She had open wounds between her toes so I can see how that hurt. I can tell you from experience that drowning is a very peaceful way to go.  I drowned when I was 10 years old.  I remember it vividly still to this day.  I remember being scared at first when I knew I couldn’t hold my breath anymore but once I took that first breath of water it was the most peaceful feeling I can ever remember.  I still think about that often.  I saw bright light and I remember looking around in the water and seeing how beautiful blue it was and feeling such a glorious feeling of weightlessness and peace in my little 10 year old body as I breathed the water in and out of my lungs.  Then as everything was moving toward the light, I remember being thrown up onto the side of the pool and people pushing on me hard and then me coughing up lots and lots of water.  I don’t know how long I was under there but I remember needing a nap when that was over.  The funny thing is that even with that experience, I have never been afraid of water.  Maybe I am not afraid because I know how peaceful and painless it is to drown. 

God knows us so well because He made us and He knows that it is common to fear dying.  So I think it is pretty amazing to look at how God prepares us for natural death from old age.  Where I work, every day I see people in varying degrees of poor health.  I see their decline and ultimate end although they sometimes move on to a higher level of care before that end comes.  I look at how people get diabetes, high blood pressure, heart issues, blood clotting, strokes, inability to take in nourishment, etc.  Most of the people I deal with, by the time they are near death they are ready.  They are tired of hurting.  They are tired of struggling and have little quality of life left.  God is pretty cool like that to prepare us for natural death.  We become ready.  We become tired and want to sleep.  Even in the end, God has our back.

Sometimes it is good to consider our own mortality.  We are on vacation here on this earth.  One day we will all go home, but on every other day, we will enjoy our vacation and spread joy like confetti to all we come in contact with.  Get out there today and sprinkle kindness and love into our world.  Thank you for reading my blog.  Please give me a like and a follow and a share!

Jennifer

Loss is Gain

I had the best, most exhausting weekend I have had in a long time. In the face of tragedy, I watched The Lord work His magic. I was so blessed to have a front seat for the show. God is the best screenplay writer there is. We are all actors in His drama. 

My 43 year old cousin died tragically on Friday. He just didn't wake up. It is always sad for a young person to pass. My heart aches for his wife and two young children as they are left to live life without their father and husband. 

Growing up, my cousin and I were like peas and carrots. We played together while our parents visited our grandmother. We were the closest in age of all the cousins and we both were the two youngest of the cousins. As adults, we had only seen each other once in past years. At that time I met his wife and first born. My cousin taught me how to suck a honeysuckle. I will never forget that day. We had gone to his house in the country and we played outside while our dads visited. He took me to the row of honeysuckle and showed me how to eat one. Life skills 101:  suck honeysuckle. Everyone should learn. He taught me. 

For whatever reason that doesn't even matter now, my dad and my aunt had not had contact with their brother for years. They missed him terribly. We all wondered if their brother, my cousin's dad would be at the funeral home. He was too sad to attend our grandmother's funeral so thus, our wondering of whether we would see him for his son's funeral. The loss of a child is the worst pain anyone can experience. We all ached for my aunt and uncle, my cousin's parents.  Upon arrival at the visitation, we saw my uncle. My dad immediately went to talk to him. It was a moment that was years in the making. My dad had missed his brother so much. 

My uncle was so sad. Sad that he had lost his son. Sad that he wouldn't receive the daily call from his son to borrow a tool or give advice on fixing a car. Feeling pain that is unimaginable. In the face of pain, my dad was comfort to my uncle. No matter how much water had been under the bridge it didn't matter. What mattered was two brothers, together again. I sent this picture to my aunt who was going to be coming to the funeral later. She had waited and prayed for years for this moment. 

My aunt arrived the next day and was able to be reunited with her baby brother that she and my dad had not seen or heard from in years. It was the best day of my life to witness the love. 

Their other brother is in heaven. The last brother is in Michigan. Their other sister in heaven. Tragedy brought healing. The loss of my cousin bridged a gap that time had made bigger. The reason is unimportant. The important part is how loss brought gain. Tragedy became triumph. Gap became bridge. Heartache became healing. I loved watching my aunt talk to my uncle like they never missed a beat. 

It was the best day of my life watching my dad, my aunt and my uncle reconnect in a way that would never have happened without losing my cousin. Hearts were opened this weekend. 

Way to go, God!  Excellent work. Thanks for the front row seat to see how you healed a family through tragedy. I heard my uncle say to my aunt through teary eyes yesterday, "I don't know how I would have made it these past few days without you."  They exchanged numbers, they will stay connected. 

My cousin is smiling down from heaven at the healing of our family. Great work, Johnny. You did good. 

God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes he works in horrible situations to bring glory for the greater good. My heart aches for my cousins wife and children and his parents and sisters. I don't think we ever get over the loss of a child, husband, father.  My prayers of comfort for all of them. 

Thanks for reading my blog!  Please consider me to speak at your next event! I can speak on your topic or mine. Visit my website at www.funthoughtsonlife.com

Have a great day and pray for my cousins family!

Jennifer