A Good Decision

Chocolate chip or Sugar?
Red or Blue
Go or Stay?
Snack or wait?

Decisions decisions...

There are actually a few decisions that are disguised as feelings.  Love is a feeling.  It is something you fall into.  Something you feel in your soul, and heart.  Something you get butterflies over.  It is uncovered when you find your soulmate. I am suggesting today that love is not a feeling at all.  It is a decision.

I have been married for 26 years.  27 in May.  We met at college in Nashville, TN. He was from Georgia, I was from Nashville.  It was love at first sight.  I told my roommate after I met him that I had just met the man I was going to marry.  There were butterflies.  There was giddiness and laughing.  There was excitement to see him.  It was the same on his end.  We dated.  We loved.  We had fun.  We got married.  What if I had gone to school at Texas A&M?  Would I have found this man I married?  hmmmm

No.  I would have married someone who was in my pool of eligibles at the time I was ready to get married.  This does not minimize my love and adoration for my husband, it just means that I picked him out of the pool of eligibles within proximity to where I was at the time I wanted to get married.  THIS, my friends, is why so many marriages are failing nowadays.  People think that love is a feeling.  Something they fall into, and as time passes they fall out of.  Do I feel butterflies when I see my husband now, 26 years later?  hmmm no.  Am I glad to see him?  yes.  Do I miss him when he is gone?  absolutely.  But do I burn with passion for him?  no.  Did I? yes.  You see, love is a decision.

When butterflies go away in time and it's kids and bills and commitments, you don't burn with passion anymore, Yes, desire is still there, but more of a comfortable desire and the desire may not be for the dude who passes gas on the couch.  People give up here.  They divorce here.  Because they saw the secretary at work and felt butterflies for her.  They saw the dude at the local honkytonk that gave them giddiness and rumbly tummy.  It's fun to feel that way. But that isn't love.  That is temporary endorphins that make you feel good for the moment.  It passes.  Even with the secretary or the dude at the honkeytonk it will pass.  Feelings are temporary.  Love is forever.

Love is a decision to commit to your husband even when he is undesirable.  Love is a decision to stick with your wife even though she went and got her entire arm tattooed because she wanted to.  Love is a decision to accept your husband even when he was too hard on the children or you don't agree on which house to buy.  Love is commitment even when your husband blew through $5000 at the poker table.  There are no butterflies in these situations.  No desire.  Just a decision.  A decision to love even when you are unlovable.  A comfortable commitment in sickness and health.  Butterflies are temporary, love is eternal.

When you wife breaks her arm and leg and you have to serve her and put her shoes on for her and snap her bra on her because she can't do anything for herself, you choose to love.  There are no butterflies or giddiness in this situation.  Just love.  A decision to put someone else's needs above your own.

Love is a decision to place someone else's needs above your own.

We love our children but when they draw all over the white couch with sharpie marker do we adore and get giddy over how cute they are?  NO. We decide to love them anyway and purchase a couch cover.  We don't divorce our children or put them up for adoption and make another one that won't do that.  So why are we throwing away our marriages?  Because the world has taught us that love is a feeling.  And when we fall out of it, we throw in the towel and find someone who makes us feel alive again.  Love isn't something we fall into or out of.  It isn't some out of control feeling that lasts forever.  It is a decision.  A decision to love when he plans the most amazing anniversary getaway ever and also to love when he forgets your birthday.

Love is a decision to place someone else's needs above your own.

Share my blog with anyone you think needs to read this.  I hope it touches your heart.

Have the Best Day EVER!
Jennifer

God: 1 Boy: 0 I Like That Score

I have had more mixed emotions in the past 5 days than I can ever remember having.  In the midst of the wonderful excitement of my oldest daughter's graduation tragedy struck.  We still had a perfect celebration and things went great with that and my next blog post will be about how to create the perfect celebration.  I got a gutwrenching call from one of my friends about some police activity at a home that she wanted me to confirm who lived there.  As I grabbed my stomach and heart from the floor, I jumped in the car to go to the house of my best friend.  She was away on a vacation with her husband and her grown children were at home going to their jobs and going about life.  LOTS of police cars, crime scene unit, and an ambulance pulled away as I drove up.  I ran to the scene as I was dialing my friend praying all the way.  No way all this activity could be good.

Fast forward, I sat on the curb praying all the while the investigators went about their work.  My friend's son was rushed to the hospital with a gunshot wound.  We all prayed that it was an accident.  As of this moment it does not appear to be accidental but self inflicted.  My mind wanders.  HOW can a person decide this but live to tell about it?  What is God doing here?  My friends son said, "No, I'm done."  God said, "No, you are not done."  It is another modern day miracle I have witnessed.  My cup runneth over with praise for the almighty God and that He is ON HIS THRONE.  Wow, God, I can't wait to see what you are doing in this one.  This is better than any movie a talented producer could dream up!

This young man will be hope for the hopeless, help for the helpless, dreams for the dreamless, faith for the faithless, he will be a witness of God's great love, the power of prayer, and the fact that our plan is not always God's plan and only God's plan is perfect.  This young man is building my faith even though he doesn't even realize it.  It is those who truly can say "I have been there." that can validate and help those who feel like life is not worth living.  God has big plans for this young man.  I am thrilled to have a front row seat to watch God's show.  Praise HIM!

I had the honor of sitting with his sister at the hospital yesterday and she made some comments that won't ever leave me.  She said in paraphrase, "I understand the power of prayer.  Look at this burn on my finger I got last Monday.  It is not any better than it was when I got it and look at my brother.  All these people praying for him and he is making daily strides toward recovery that even baffle the doctors.  I believe in the power of prayer.  It works."  Her faith is increasing.  Maybe in ways it wouldn't have if not tested in this tragic way.

He must have felt alone that day.  And yet, a Facebook site set up to keep folks informed has hundreds of likes already.  A boy that is loved.  People giving hugs and support to the family.  A boy that is loved.  God plucking him out of his own despair.  A boy that is loved.  Parents that rushed home and sit bedside 24/7 praying fervently.  A boy that is loved.  A sister who showed strength that surpassed understanding.  A boy that is loved.

The boy said "I can't".  God said "With me, you can".  He saved the boys life last Wednesday.  All glory to the one and only, all powerful, living God.  Keep your eyes peeled.  This boy is going to do great things in God's Kingdom.

Current Score-  God:1
                          Boy-0
I like that score :)

God's Timing almost always is not Our Timing

Tonight I went to a wedding.  I have been to many weddings in my life, all of which has been beautiful.  Tonight I went to the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to not because the decorations were the best I had ever seen, or the bride looked the most beautiful, or the groom was the most handsome, or the weather was the most perfect, or the food was the best I had ever eaten.  In fact, I really paid less attention to any of these physical properties than I have at any wedding I have ever been to.  The wedding I went to tonight was a culmination of God's perfect timing.  It was the most beautiful event I have ever been to.  There were no physical bridesmaids, or physical groomsmen.  The witness that stood up with the bride and groom was the one and only God.  

The bride's son sat on the front row along with the parents of both the bride and groom.  There was not a dry eye in the audience.  The groom and bride walked out of the back of the house and ambled hand in hand dripping with joy to the alter of greenery over an archway.  God saw this day long ago and the happily ever after that it began for these two.  God wiped their tears individually for the past years as the wounds were deep and raw from failed marriages and previous spouses who taught them who NOT to marry. 

The bride is one of my best friends.  Not because we spend a lot of time together, that is not always necessary.  We have been to hell and back together in different situations, but we put our backs together through the rain and slept that way so neither one of our heads fell in the mud.  There has been a lot of mud for a lot of years.  When my mud dried and I was able to walk on dry land again, my best friend continued to struggle.  Some days we wondered if her misery would ever end.  If it wasn't flies it was ants. But faithful love is a friend just when hope seems to end, welcome face, sweet embrace, tender touch filled with grace.  Faithful love drowns each fear, reaches down, dries each tear, holds my hand when I can't stand on my own.

One day, a very handsome man who I have known my whole life and whose father was one of my Christian mentors growing up came in to Sunday school and sat next to my best friend.  By the time Sunday school was over, he was practically sitting in her seat with her.  Both happier than I had seen them in years.  My husband and I elbowed each other and snickered to ourselves without saying a word.  I couldn't tell you what that Bible class was about that day because I was watching what God was doing right in the row in front of me.  That prince and princess were married today with God in attendance.

The wedding was perfect, the decorations were perfect, the bride was the most beautiful, the groom most handsome, the food the greatest I ever tasted, because God blessed the broken road that led them straight to paradise.  I was blessed to be able to witness the culmination of years of heartache that gave way to God's perfect plan, God's perfect timing, God's perfect family.  It started to sprinkle rain during the ceremony, then it quit.  It reminded me of how many tears my friend and I have dried for each other over the years.  The rain stopped and so have the tears.  If ever there was a happily ever after, this is it.  Congratulations, my Friend on your happily ever after.  Sometimes we have to kiss some frogs to find our handsome prince.